The Pairing Game
by Nordics4Life
Summary: Our favorite Awesome Trio has gotten themselves a TV Show! They will prove which of our pairings are true, hopefully ridding the world of fangirl wars. But hey, Alfred had to be a hero somehow. A collab between me and my sister. Rated T for who knows what. Review any war ideas you may have.
1. Introduction

.: Authors' Note :.

NO! We must have proper grammar or Nazi-Germany will come after us! Anyway, the story is a collaboration between us sisters: Jinx5647 and meh, Nordics4Life. The story is her idea, while I mainly type it and post. Enjoy!~ ^J^

***Disclaimer*** We have no rights over Hetalia. However, we do have Hidekazu Himaruya held hostage until we get them. (I still don't see the point of these damn things…)

* * *

Bob just got back from Café Spain, still depressed about the breakup with his girlfriend. _Might as well watch some TV, you know, to get her off my mind._ While scrolling through the channels, he almost fell over at the scene. There was a weird man with spiky hair staring quite intensely at the screen, screaming something about a "Pairing Game." Not to mention the guy in a Superman costume in the background…and the albino bird whisperer…

***Meanwhile in the studio***

Denmark couldn't help but scream the introduction of the show. He was just too excited to resist, since this was his first big break on television. Who knows, he might just find himself a role on Jersey Shore one day. Hey, spray tans are available, right? He continued with his monologue.

"This is the show for all Hetalia fans out there, to see those fandoms come to life! Which ones will actually work? Honestly, I'm not too sure of any of them, you fangirls can get pretty crazy. Meet my co-hosts! The hero himself, saving the world from global warming time and time again, I preset to you all: MURICA!"

The nation failingly attempted to fly on stage, when he landed with a nasty thud. He then continued to stumble to the microphone.

"I didn't think the tag on this was right, it said that the costume didn't let me fly… whatever. ANYWAYS! I am the heroic co-host of this show, along with my good buddy. He has an awesome pet bird, and currently operates the AWESOME button. I present none other than the awesome: PRUSSIA!" The albino strutted his stuff onto the stage. No France, not that stuff. Gilbird flew close behind.

"I AM ZE AWESOME PRUSSIA, AND I ZINK VE SHOULD GET ZIS SHOW STARTED!" He ran over and slammed his hand down on the AWESOME button. The word glowed brightly over the stage, with an applause heard in the background. How cheesy.

Denmark managed to shove Prussia off of the microphone. "So guys, we're gonna take a commercial break for a bit, but stay tuned for our first pairing war. The polls show that it will be: EstFin versus SuFin! What a war, we'll see you soon!

As the commercial break began, the sign for Café Spain was shown in large letters on the screen. Bob blinked for a moment before breaking down in tears.

* * *

.: Authors' Note:.

(**Nordics4Life**) So that's chapter one, guyzzzz!~ :P Do any of you guys actually remember that guy watching the show? I thought that Bob would be a lovely, original name for him. We honestly feel like the narrator of Hetalia while writing this, just look at all the comments we put in there :3

(**Jinx5647**) THIS WAS ALL MY IDEA! (but didn't we already say that? Oh well, just a friendly reminder! ^u^) Anyway, in your reviews, if you have any requests for future pairing wars, feel free to write them and we may (but probably won't…jk) consider putting them in our story.


	2. Battle 1: SuFin vs EstFin

John was just finished telling his co-worker about his experience at Café Sweden when they agreed to watch TV during their lunch break. While scrolling through the channels, he did a spit-take with his coffee. There, on TV, was the same man he had seen at Café Sweden. How odd…

Denmark waved his arms in the air, welcoming the audience back to the show. "Now we will begin the war! The lucky guy being fought for, FINNY!~" America was shown carrying a chair over his shoulder, Finland tied inside. He was shaking, but still carried a nervous smile on his face. What a fighter.

Denmark walked over to him and patted his shoulder. He held a microphone in front of him. "Fin, my man! How ya doing tonight?"

Finland swallowed nervously before replying. "Um, not very good considering I am tied to a chair… how are you, Mr. Denmark?"

He smirked before saying, "Just AWESOME!" Prussia reflexively smacked the AWESOME button. With…his nose…of course.

America now had his turn to speak. "In this corner of the stage, errr, rounded edge of the stage, we have The Beast. He can scare the manliest guys out there, such as Poland! HEEERRRREEEE'S SWEDEN!" *crickets* He walked backstage and, with difficulty, pulled a confused Swede onto the stage. He turned to Denmark and said, "Th'ght th's w's f'm'ly re'n'n. Why's m'wife t'ed 'p?"

Denmark smiled nervously. "I might have lied to Sweden about this whole thing, guys. If he kills me, the whole audience is in my will." While Sweden was fuming and slowly advancing towards the Dane, with America trying to stop him, Prussia took over.

"On ze ozer rounded edge of ze stage, ve have our favorite geek! Under our least favorite Russian's power for a long time, he owns ze rice blobs as pets, and wears zem specs vis svag! HEEERRRREEEE'S ESTONIA!" Estonia strolled on stage, before looking around confused. "I thought you guys said there was a 3 for 1 sale on mochi food!"

Denmark, pressed against the wall, slowly and unsurely laughed. "Yeaaa about that…"

Prussia looked at the scene beginning. "ENOUGH LET US GET ZIS SHOW STARTED! Our task for ze competitors to complete iz ze 'Do You Know Zem Game!' "

America held a stack of index cards filled with answers to questions, all about our favorite Finn. "First question: What is Finland's favorite color?"

Sweden tapped the buzzer first, which made an awkward duck-like sound. He glared at Danmark who shrugged with "It was the best choice they had. Would you rather a frog? (not you, France)"

"M'w'fe's f'v'r'te c'l'r 's l'ght bl'e" America gave a thumbs up. "Correct!" Estonia looked confused. "What kind of question is that? Shouldn't it be more about him than silly material things?"

America looked at Estonia as if he had twenty-six heads that breathed out purple acorns. "No, that's the worst idea I've ever heard. DUH~ Next question! This is a giveaway: What is Finland's favorite band?"

The competitors looked at each other with complete cluelessness. America chuckled. "Yea, nevermind, I was kidding about that giveaway part." Estonia thought for a moment before muttering 'Of course' and hitting the buzzer. This time, it made a farting noise. Denmark laughed his way to the ground, slamming his fists down in laughter. "I just HAD to get that noise!~"

"His favorite band is Poju, right?" America smiled and claimed that he introduced Estonia to the band last month, after receiving the link from Finland. Sweden just looked confused. He had never known what music the Finn liked.

"Question Three: What is Finland's hobby?"

Yet again, Estonia rang the buzzer first. "It's gotta be going in a sauna!" Finland smiled while nodding. Sweden's hand had been millimeters from his own buzzer. That left him behind, he had to get the next question right.

"Question Four: What thing is Finland the most afraid of?" Sweden knew this immediately, slamming the buzzer down and stating it. "Sp'd'rs. Th'y t'rr'fy h'm." Just last week, there had been a baby spider on the stove, while Finland was cooking, and he had screeched louder than a little girl at the mere sight of it. It only got worse as it crawled towards him. Sweden had had to come in and kill it for him.

"And the last question is good 'ol Finny's choice! What question do ya wanna ask 'em?" Finland thought a moment before deciding on, "What is my favorite board game?"

Both competitors thought long and hard, trying to pull out some memory from the past to answer with. It took a good ten minutes, and the Awesome Trio was starting to think this was an impossible question, when Sweden jumped with realization and smashed the buzzer. Which…broke in half. "It's Ch'ck'rs." Finland beamed at him for remembering. Estonia asked how he figured it out.

"D' ya kn'w h'w m'ny g'mes 'f th't h's pl'y'd w'th S'l'nd? Too m'ny"

Denmark grabbed the microphone again. "'Kay, so that ends this episode! Prussia, hit the AWESOME button!" *Awesome button used* "So SuFin takes the cake. EstFin fans, you have been proven wrong. Sorry 'bout that. Tune in next week for our next battle: USUK versus FrUK! That will be exciting, right guys? I wonder who'll win? See ya next time, on, The Pairing Game!"

* * *

.: Authors' Note :.

(**Nordics4Life**)YET ANOTHER MYSTERY SOLVED! This story is so much fun to write, seriously. We are doing our best to evenly distribute roles to each Awesome host or co-host of this amazing show, let us know how we are doing! And a note for all future battles: We choose what types of battles for each pairing war on purpose. They is always a reason for what battle it is. And also for the future, we do NOT support every pairing that wins. It wouldn't be fair if all our favorites won.

(**Jinx5647**) _Don't forget to include request battles in the reviews, as well as what you think about the story so far._ SuFin for life! ^u^

(**Nordics4Life**) Don't you mean, "Nordics-4-Life?~" ¬u¬

(**Jinx5647**) No….^J^


	3. Battle 2: FrUK vs USUK

Liechtenstein was flipping through her big bruder's new TV set, the first he had ever been willing to actually pay for. He'd usually just force his way into Austria's house to watch the weekly appearance of Survivor. He always wondered why no guns were allowed on the island, it'd make life a lot easier. But back to the point. As she watched, a familiar 'Awesome Albino' appeared on the screen, and she decided to sit back and enjoy the show.

* * *

Prussia looked right at the camera. This week, all viewers would be staring right into his pure, sexy red eyes. And no, viewers, those are not contacts. He was stating, "On vis veek's episode of ze Pairing Game, ve have ze lucky man being fought for: ENGLAND! ENGLAND GET ON ZIS STAGE!" Denmark is shown pushing him onto the stage and tying him in a chair, quite easily. His little pirate stuff and so-called 'black magic' was just no match for good looks, cool hair, and Viking strength.

"Let me go or I won't give you any scones for your birthday!"

"Big loss." Denmark rolled his eyes and winked at the camera. "This time, our first contestant is from the city of love! The lover of roses and the Eiffel tower (No France, not _that_ Eiffel tower…) FRANCE!"

France strutted on the corn-, errr, rounded edge stage and almost immediately began to try to get in Denmark's favor. "Love your 'air, today, Monsieur Denmark~ What do you use for eet? Mousse? Gel? Spray?"

"CEMENT! LOTS OF BEER AND CEMENT!" France just looked…..like…..I don't even know. He probably didn't know either.

"AND IN ZIS ROUNDED EDGE OF ZE STAGE, THE HERO HIMSELF! He is my favorite co-host and is totally awesome! *Awesome Button* HERE'S, quoting ze man himself, 'MURICA!"

America ran onto the stage and was like, "Yo Iggy! 'Sup, man?" He looked at Denmark and said, "It's nice not to have so much work as a co-host today, dude!" (Like it's so much hard, straining work to host _this_ show. Suurrreeee)

Prussia says, "Anyvays, let's get to ze challenge!"

Denmark thrust his arms in the direction of a long table, with two large and empty dishes on either side. "Our competitors will be taking part in an eating contest! The first to eat the whole plate of hamburgers gain the copyright of Iggy's heart!"

France looks a bit queasy. "Aren't ze hamburgers going to ruin my figure? I may want his heart, but I still need to maintain my looks."

America smirked at this. "Well I don't know about you, Francy-Pants, but I'm ready for this challenge. After all, I got this in the BAG! HAHAHA!"

The French Pervert frowned and wrote something on a piece of paper. He then passed this to Denmark, who grinned and ran to the Studio Chef, to notify them of some new information.

* * *

The platters of hamburgers were brought out to the Nations, accompanied by a winking Dane. Totally not suspicious. As the food was placed in front of each, a noticeable difference was seen. On one platter, thick double cheeseburgers sat on huge buns. On the other, thinly sliced cuts of meat were sitting on paper-thin slivers of bread. Our favorite Frenchman received the latter. Also, our Danish host was mysteriously nowhere to be found.

England noticed this and complained. "I say, this is obviously fixed for the French Frog to win!" Prussia yelled, "Shut ze fuck up, you have no say in zis! After all, you are just ze prize of zis competition."

The British Old Chap was fuming. "HEY YOU BLOODY WANKER I HAVE RIGHTS! I AM A FORMER PIRATE AND A POWERFUL NATION, SO I WILL DESTROY YOU IF I AM NOT SHOWN PROPER RESPECT! SO–"

Prussia's red eyes rolled as he simply stated, "Vhatevar, ze competition vill start now anyvays." America was excited, completely oblivious to the 'minor' differences in portion size.

The Awesome Button rang out and our contestants began to shove food into their faces. Well, our American one did. Our French contestant ate quickly, yes, but not to the point of being messy. He took a bit more time, still hurrying, just less rushed. Soon enough France had completed 5 of 7 burgers, while America glanced in panic towards his competitor. He still only had completed 3 burgers, why was it taking him so much longer to eat?!

Before they knew it, The French-Fry had downed all his food, and the game was over. The Hero had lost for the first time in his life: An Eating Contest; a BURGER Eating Contest. He sat on the floor, weeping in despair while curled in a ball. France, meanwhile, jumped for joy towards the frightened Englishman, saying in a sing-song voice, "You're all mine, Angleterre~ All mine~!"

Denmark stumbled back onto the set, face flushed and wobbling slightly in step. He muttered something non-coherently and giggled with glee. Then he made his way, slowly, to the camera. Literally, he was an inch from the camera itself, guys. He giggled yet again before regaining some sense, "K guyzzz, tune in *hic* next week for the next baatttllleeee, which *hic* will be RomaBel against Spamano. *hic* Have a nice life….hehaheeaehehehaeheeahha…" He then dropped to the floor, passed out.

* * *

.:Authors' Notes:.

(Nordics4Life) Just gotta add this here, guys. Keep in mind when suggesting that once a couple has won the battle, the two characters are no longer available to suggest. It's gonna be really complicated with that later on, so don't go on here no and suggest France x Seychelles or something, we can't use France nor England anymore. However, America lost, so he is still available as a player!~

Also, I personally want to apologize for being so slow with updating. We had it all written out, but school starting and everything else in life has been slowing us down. Thank you for dealing with our laziness and life~! :D

(Jinx5647) Poor Iggy L Aren't we such great writers, my lil' sister and I? lol, we actually ship USUK. Enjoy the fic, and as always, REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! ^J^

*Also look Nordics4Life up on deviantart. She goes by the username **Noru-kinz***

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